A purpose made out of thought spirals inwards like a photocopy of a photocopy till your purpose is nothing more than an ink stained blur, undefined without clarity.
But you will still project onto this blurred photocopy what ever you tell yourself it is, and then conflict yourself further by telling yourself this purpose is still the same as it always was.
Making a purpose out your thoughts is like getting a pencil, sketching an apple and trying to eat it, then when it provides no nutrition, drawing another apple and telling yourself this one is nutritious.
You will eventually starve eating paper apples.
Purpose is only in the next step, in a hug, in helping someone cross the road, in moving someone out the way of a falling roof tile, in drinking when you’re thirsty, in writing when you should write, laughing when you should laugh.
If you enjoy a sunset or eat a delicious piece of food, then ask your self what purpose is all this, am I the sort of person that finds meaning in this. Then you were never really there during that sunset, never fully eating the food. (and yes that will reduce you ability to digest it)
Never really there.
Never really enjoying anything.
Just analysing, looking for purpose, that you compare to an earlier held on to thought image of what purpose should be.
You are in a garden full of fruit, but starving on paper apples as you yell to anyone who would listen, where is all the fruit? I am so hungry.
Did you event the langue you speak?
Then how are you going to find purpose in someone else’s words.
How can you even find it, when all there is, is now?
If your too busy looking for it, you will never see it.
Experience it
You cannot look for it
You can only be it
You can only be